SOMEWHERE, UNDER THE EQUATOR:

On the next morning the soldier with the green beret came to the Spin Wordsmith and said:

"Aus has sent for you. Follow me."

So the Spin Wordsmith followed him and came to the great Oval Office. Aus had taken the shape of a most terrible Beast.


It was a large flesh-eating Riversleigh Killer Kangaroo, able to prey on animals as large as itself by gripping things with powerful arms, then devouring them with strong jaws and teeth. The rest of the world had thought them extinct for twenty million years, but it seemed that this land of Aus was actually ruled by one.

"I am Aus, the Great and Terrible," spoke the Roo Of Enormous Size, in a voice that was one great roar. "Who are you, and why do you seek me?"

"I am Judith, a Wordsmith, and made of spin. Therefore I have no heart, and cannot feel. I pray you to give me a heart that I may be as other women are."

"Why should I do this?" demanded the Mighty Marsupial.

"Because I ask it, and you alone can grant my request," answered the Wordsmith.

Aus gave a low growl at this, but skipped ahead, gruffly: "If you indeed desire a heart, you must earn it."

"How?" asked the Wordsmith.

"Help Dubya to overthrow the regime of the Bloody Butcher of Baghdad, replied the Evolutionary Anachronism. "When the Brute is beaten, come to me, and I will then give you the biggest and kindest and most loving heart in all the Land of Aus."

So the Spin Wordsmith saw she would have to return sorrowfully to her friends and tell them of the terrible Beast she had seen. Just then a huge house came crashing through the ceiling and landed on the Karnivorous Kanga, whose feet and tail could be seen sticking out from under the front porch steps. Out onto the porch skipped a small modern relative of the prehistoric megafauna. In rushed a crowd of local webloggers, who linked hands and began circling the house in dance, gleefully singing "Ding, dong, the Rove is dead, the wicked Rove...."

Judith tapped one on the bloggers on the shoulder and asked what was going on. He looked up at her and said "We represent the Pixel Guild. We were able to create a spacetime warp by massive simultaneous links to one site. It so overwhelmed media reality that it brought the house down on the Rove's head. Now we're free!"

The Spin Wordsmith saw a great opportunity for a journalistic coup, and dashed up the steps to get the first interview with the blogger whose site had been used as the web weapon against Aus. As soon as she said, "Hi! I'm Judith...." the small bush roo and all the bloggers turned on her at once and began chasing her. She finally had to go hide in the local jail, where she could be safe from their wrath. After that, the bloggers went on celebrating with their new leader skippy.

[This post was inspired by the brilliant and surreal Rebecca of Hitherby Dragons.]